The Watercress file meets Fridgegate

Given the apparent heightened interest in the contents of my fridge and pantry by certain circles within the  Country Club enclave Lifes Little Ironies thought it would provide selected highlights of some of the delicious tuck and vittles on display.

Milk, bread butter and cereals are in abundance followed by eggs, bacon and a good selection of vegetables – all courtesy of the local grocery store. I am particular pleased with the home grown tomatoes and carrots but admit that the cream cheese is reaching its Use by Date and the exquisite  chicken liver and pork terrine is an aquired taste. Alas, for those possessing a sweeter tooth, searches for cookies, sodas, chips and candy are likely to come away disappointed.

Forage deeper and you will discover a particularly delicious Baccala Mantecato that would make even the most discerning epicurian gourmand slaver with anticipation. Indeed Tacitus himself would have to draw favorable comparisons with the decadent banquet tables of Emperors  Nero or Augustus albeit flamingo tongues and dolphin sweatmeats  will never grace our table.

But there I go again, wittering away and digressing at the drop of a toque. Why, I hear you musing, would the yummy comestibles elicit such an enquiry from the cosseted community?

I discount Leviathan envy. No, envy here is measured by the number of cylinders in your car, clubs in your golf cart or inches on your flat screen TV. Let us then consider the alternative and scan the virtues. Temperance maybe? I fear not – humility, abstinence and modesty are epithets not normally flung around the well manicured lawns.

I don’t think you would want to mess around with Harry Palmer’s fridge

Dissatisfied,  I eschew  the teachings of the Catholic church for something more exotic and spiritual. Buddhism speaks of “Five Poisons”. Glimpsing the translations- “ignorance”, “delusion”, “arrogance” and “conceit” I sense I am getting warmer but would be naive if I thought study of Buddhist teachings was prominent on anyone’s night time reading list here, so  maybe I should take a more direct approach. What do you think?

The Fridge and Pantry Experience:

New for Summer 2012 you no longer need to schedule your appointment via the Child Protective Service or through Law Enforcement. Township police should also be advised that the self service buffet is closed to late night visits without prior arrangement.





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